Going Home Again for Differentiation Family of Origin
The desired issue of Bowen's family of origin coaching of an individual was for them to move beyond blaming or labelling family unit members every bit saints or sinners, and towards being able to accept the patterns over the generations that shape the relationship positions that each person comes to occupy
Most of us are interested in how our family of origin has shaped us. I have found that many people recollect in terms of cause and result about how a parent or an effect from the by has fabricated life more difficult for them in the nowadays. Much therapy takes this linear approach to exploring the past. For instance, a detrimental parenting human relationship is used to explain a person's current sensitivities. In contrast a systems approach e'er looks at how each person and each generation affects the other in a circular (back and forth) way. For case one's parents are understood in the context of their union, involvements with each child and the position they had with their parents growing up. The electric current sensitivities are understood through identifying family unit of origin relationship triangles that one participated in (I.E. How one related to each parent and how alliances impacted the relationship with other family members). A bigger picture of interactions across the generations diverts from blaming a parent for one's current life difficulties. This web log is an excerpt from an article I wrote and published in 2008 explaining a Bowen systems approach to looking at family of origin. I trust this will exist of interest non just to therapists but to any who seek to constructively understand the influence of their previous generations.
Family of Origin Psychotherapy in a Nutshell
Coaching an individual to research their own patterns in their family unit and to redefine themselves in less feet driven ways is aimed at increasing their level of differentiation of cocky. This is non identical to the concept of individuation (Jung, 1954) or self-actualisation (Maslow, 1968) which focuses on growing away from family unit symbiosis through realising intra-psychically one's separateness. Bowen's concept of differentiation places an equal emphasis on staying meaningfully connected to significant others, every bit information technology does on expressing individual thoughts and beliefs. "The ability to be in emotional contact with others all the same still autonomous in one'southward own emotional operation is the essence of the concept of differentiation."(p.145, Kerr and Bowen, 1988)
Prior to focusing on the family equally a system, Bowen had trained in psychoanalysis and undertook many years of his own analysis. In reflecting on the outcome of his early on analytic preparation, he stated that "during my psychoanalysis there was enough emotional pressure to engage my parents in an aroused confrontation almost childhood grievances that had come up to low-cal in the snug harbour of transference. At the fourth dimension I considered these confrontations to be emotional emancipation……The net result was my conviction that my parents had their problems and I had mine, that they would never change, and nothing more could be done." (p. 484, Bowen, 1972)
Bowen was not satisfied with this issue as he began to see from his clinical research that each family member participated in a reciprocal (circular) process of making compensations for others. This meant that with careful research of family unit patterns it was possible for an individual to begin to relate more from self and less in reaction to others, and that over time the efforts of one person might shift the functioning of the whole arrangement. The desired outcome of Bowen'southward coaching of an individual was for them to move beyond blaming or labelling family members equally saints or sinners, and towards being able to take the patterns over the generations that shape the human relationship positions that each person comes to occupy. From this more neutral position, the individual is able to develop a person to person (not person to group or couple) human relationship with each member of his/her family where differences can be expressed without attacking, defending or withdrawing. Bowen referred to this approach equally 'coaching' as opposed to 'therapy' because the emphasis was on preparing for change efforts in the clients natural organization of relationships, rather than a healing emphasis in the relationship between therapist and client. This has been likened to the passenger vehicle of a sports team who is "on the sidelines. Both serve equally teachers/consultants who fix the players/clients, simply the players/client(s) demand to translate the learning into action on the playing field and the family turf."(p. 22, Titelman, 1987)
Given that nearly clients of psychotherapy are motivated to accost a problem in the hither and now, a family systems therapist will begin with a focus on the problem bearer and gaining symptom relief (working in the foreground). Still, as family members start to empathise their part in the interactions that maintain the symptom and how patterns of managing relationship anxiety are passed down the generations, they may choose to keep working with the therapist to look at the broader generational context. In the early stages of this piece of work the focus is on gathering information about the family human relationship history and exploring the functional roles the client occupied in their family unit. (Examples of functional roles are: problem solver – problem maker; anxiety generator-feet soother; supporter-collapser; free energy lender-energy borrower)
A 3 generational family diagram/genogram is used equally a style of mapping family history and looking for emotionally reactive patterns. The bus helps the client to place gaps in knowledge, equally highlighted past the genogram and hypothetical questions are used to explore what process is likely to ensue if the client is to get to know each family fellow member meliorate. When an understanding of the systems manner of dealing with anxiety well-nigh relationship attachments is achieved they are encouraged to plan cursory steps of contacting family unit members and afterwards observing and listening to them in a research minded way.
This information is brought back to therapy/coaching and further hypotheses are developed about the role the person plays in the system, what a less reactive role would look like and what might exist the reactions of others to any changes they may make. The private focuses their idea and effort on changing the way they relate in their family, not on trying to alter others. At that place is rarely a termination of the work but rather a spacing of appointments to longer intervals and an encouragement to return at any time to go along the piece of work of differentiating which is framed as a lifelong effort. The coaching effort aims to assist the client to piece of work at existence able to maintain their objective thinking, whilst in the midst of a tumultuous emotional family unit situation, yet all the same being able to stay in contact with family members.
Distinguishing Family of Origin Coaching from Traditional Individual Psychotherapy
The key stardom between family unit systems coaching and individual therapy that has evolved from psychoanalysis is that the focus for change is in the natural system of the client's ain family, as opposed to the in-session therapeutic relationship. Rather than the therapist seeking to facilitate a corrective relationship within the transference of the therapist client system, the therapist encourages the customer to take action in their family unit system. Reflections are not on the individual's intra-psychic processes but on their own family's intergenerational patterns of relationships.
Similar to traditional individual approaches, family systems coaching emphasises the importance of the therapist managing their counter-transference. This is achieved by resisting the invitation to have sides (called 'triangling') and thereby staying out of the patterns of the customer's system. Betty Carter and Monica McGoldrick, who accept practical Bowen'due south approach to a feminist and multicultural framework, remember Bowen saying that 50% of the therapist's energy is directed into the work itself and 50% is directed into staying out of the client's family procedure. (p. 283, McGoldrick and Carter, 2001) A good deal of work on the cocky of the therapist is required to stay engaged with a client without getting drawn into alliances, over responsibleness, or withdrawing. Hence when a therapist can piece of work on managing their feet when in contact with members of their family of origin, information technology is viewed every bit a constructive way of learning how to resist client's invitations to loan support to their reactions to others. The premise is that "working toward becoming a more responsible and differentiated individual in ane's own family unit provides an avenue for lessening tendencies to become over involved with i's clinical families, and it helps the family therapist avoid emotional "burnout", a common occupational hazard for psychotherapists." (p. 3-4, Titelman, 1987)
Researching, observing, planning and thinking are given priority over insight, emotional expression, support and interpretation in Bowen's Family of Origin arroyo. Questions are focused on observable patterns of reacting by asking "What happened? Who was involved? How did each person respond?"; rather than on the particulars of a dispute, how one feels or what their interpretations are. The family systems therapist emphasises each person's participation in the organization, not what motivates individual behaviour. Instead of request the individual to give directly expression of bear on to the therapist, they are asked to reflect on what their feelings tell them about the relationship patterns in which they are involved.
Read the full commodity here.
Going Dwelling house Again: A family of origin arroyo to individual therapy
The paper was originally published in Psychotherapy in Australia Vol.14 No.1 pp. 12-eighteen. 2008
For opportunities to explore this approach further (not simply for clinicians) encounter the FSI conference offerings this June
The FSI – 2016 Briefing – The Multi-generational Family unit
The FSI – Systems in Ministry Symposium and Your Family of Origin
'How our family of origin affects us AND how nosotros affect each family member' – Jenny Brownish
Source: https://www.jennybrown.info/how-family-of-origin-affects-us-and-how-we-affect-each-family-member/
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